Something i've been saying for quite some time now. Food goes bad when it goes bad. As for those little expiration dates? You can completely ignore them.

"The fact is that expiration dates mean very little. Food starts to deteriorate from the moment it's harvested, butchered, or processed, but the rate at which it spoils depends less on time than on the conditions under which it's stored. Moisture and warmth are especially detrimental. A package of ground meat, say, will stay fresher longer if placed near the coldest part of a refrigerator (below 40 degrees Fahrenheit), than next to the heat-emitting light bulb. Besides, as University of Minnesota food scientist Ted Labuza explained to me, expiration dates address quality—optimum freshness—rather than safety and are extremely conservative. To account for all manner of consumer, manufacturers imagine how the laziest people with the most undesirable kitchens might store and handle their food, then test their products based on these criteria.."

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It's been quite a while since my last Alexander report, and i know y'all are thirstin' for some more lovin' from the little man. Well, he can now be described in one word: Mischievous.


They call them the terrible twos. Alexander has come into them a wee bit earlier. Just 3 months shy of his second birthday, he's bouncing off the walls and driving us crazy. The house is constantly a mess, with toys all over the place. He's getting extremely attached to me now that he sees me more than a couple times a week. This is both a blessing and a curse. I love the guy dearly, but you literally cannot get anything done when he's around. He's always running around playing with my tools and demanding to be doing EXACTLY what i'm doing. I'm sawing a board for a shelf? Oh yes, he wants that sharp 50-toothed saw in his hot little hands, and he'll whine about it for a loooooong time.
However i must give him credit. He is unbelievably helpful in pretty much everything he does. He helps me build/fix things around the house, load & un-load the dishwasher, and even picks up his bath toys when he's done! Good good.
Now lets get down to the real meat of the matter. Likes and dislikes.

Alexander Loves:
stomping on the hardwood floors
playing with pots & pans
the park(u)
putting his feet on the kitchen table
milk & cheese
playing screwdrivers & hammers (plastic and real)
ferrets
elephants
booun-da-booun-da-booun
brushing his teeth (like 5 times a day)

Alexander Hates:
diaper changes first thing in the morning
being told what not to do
not getting his way
laziness
being fed (he wants to do it himself)
not being the center of attention

Once again, not too bad of a list. As a matter of fact, i'm happy to say, i think i'm gonna keep him.


After all, he is my little nosororzec....

I come home the other day to find this piece of "art" hanging on our living room wall.



Now i'm all about encouraging the artistic development of my little man, however i've got a few serious misgivings about this whole idea of celebrating this form of non-art.
It's totally lame!
Now before y'all criticize me, i must declare that i understand he is a baby; and as such has had no formal art training. That's not my point. The problem i have is that it is hanging on the wall.
Oooh, look, my kid made a mess on a piece of paper! Let's sign and date it, and we'll hang it next to the faux Picasso in the living room. Even better yet i'll hang it up in my office, so that when people come in to discuss work, they'll think that someone forgot to throw away a used napkin. How would i possibly get any work done looking at that distracting car wreck all day long?

But the important thing is to see what this is teaching Alexander:
1) Look what you did! It's horrible! Yay!
2) If we hang your scribblings on the wall, perhaps you'll see this as an approval and hence cover the rest of the walls (and furniture) with similar etchings.
3) Don't worry about achieving anything meaningful in your life. Just go with the absolute minimum.
4) At least he got some on the canvas.

What are we really celebrating here folks? Mediocrity. Seriously. If i threw a wet squirrel on a piece of paper it would look better than this. Just because he happened to enter into a course of action that resulted in the monstrosity above doesn't make him a Rembrandt. As he progresses then will come the paltry block people. You know the ones; they look like a bunny rabbit after an entire herd of elephants just ran over it. And they're always the wrong color. No, people are not dark green no matter how seasick they are. But as long as there's an arrow pointing to what looks like a drunk rock with the words "daddy" above it, that makes it all right, i'm sure.

Now this doesn't mean i love the little tyke any less. It's that i'm simply not impressed. I honestly would be embarrassed to even take this piece of paper home from the school. And am i going to have a new one of these things on my wall every week? Oh goodness i hope not....

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

               -Ronald Reagan