~  Just take a shot of Vodka - it will make it all better.  ~
Saturday, April 30, 2005
barber = devil
there's not a whole lot in this world that i hate. but there are some things. the barber is one of them. I'd have to say, that one of the most depressing feelings i know is coming home from the barber. no matter what, they always fail. Today i decided to get my mop trimmed. Notice i used the word trim, as that was my expectation. I don't quite have a style figured out just yet, but my hair was about 3 inches all around. So i figured i'd go take an inch off. First i ask her what she thinks. Oh, she exclaims. She knows just the style for me. And takes the long road where in the end, she suggested a mullet. yes, a mullet. i mean, WHO in this day and age wears a mullet?!? She then proceeds to inform me that this is the style now.
i'll admit, i should have taken the hint and fled the scene like i just stole something. but i decided to stick around. she starts cutting. and combing, and chopping. taking an inch off. an inch my ass! my hair is now about 3/4 of an inch all around. how the HELL can you screw up by OVER 200%?!?!
i'm at the verge of tears, looking at myself in the barber shop mirror, seeing this certified demon with shears grinning back at me, beaming with pride over her masterpiece, asking if i like it. i should have cut my losses and ran..
but no. i decide to open my mouth. and i tell her to trim my sideburns. yes, trim. again. i almost shit my pants when she took out the electric razor and COMPLETLY shaved off my right sideburn all the way to the top of my ear. well, now, Picasso you might as well do the OTHER side too!
then she attempts to style my hair using an EXESSIVE amount of gel, as if that could cover up her oh-so-evident lack of ability, and pulls out an industrial sized vacuum cleaner to make sure i'm completely 'hair free.'
so now i'm at home, $20 poorer, 3 pounds lighter, wearing what amounts to a cow lick on the top of my head. woopdie FREAKIN' doo.
i hate barbers.

. . . = = COMMENTS = = . . .

Mozul  posted on  Monday, May 2, 2005

Where's the picture dude! We want to see!

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