This girl is one crazy cat. I'm a "relatively" new parent, but i would hope that at this point there's this certain "universal understanding." Of what do i speak? Well, let me be frank. My daughter is OUT OF CONTROL. Wild. Uncouth. CRAZY. And the only solace i can possibly ponder is that perhaps, if she is over-the-top NOW, when she gets to the dreaded "teen" years, she'll be a bit more... mellow.
Optimistic? Perhaps. But lets be honest. It's really the only thing getting me through the day, nowdays!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, i have given birth to a TORNADO. And this tornado is just starting to gather steam....
None the less, it's time for a Maggie May update. Say hello, Mags, as your deepest childhood secrets will now be revealed!!
Swinging on swings
Playing hide-and-seek. Seriously. it's her FAVORITE game EVER!
Climbing on top of everything. This is not joke. This girl will climb everything. Charis, stools, tables, ladders, you NAME IT. We've taken to turning over all the chairs in the kitchen, lest she climbs on top of the counter and decides to chug the salt. AGAIN. Mt. Everest? Maggie laughs at you!
Caring her blankets. Everywhere. You know that little kid in Snoopy? Yea. That's Maggie. TWO at a time, even!
Whining, unfortunately. It's like living with a broken siren, with never-ending batteries, running 24-7. ...yea....
Bringing books to you. This gal LOVES story time!
Eating dirt. Yea. You read me right. She's crazy. Just today, i caught her on THREE SEPARATE OCCASIONS eating shovel fulls of sand from the sandbox. And every time, i'm wiping off her face, saying, "Maggie, WTF?!" she giggles....
Cats. OMG. I don't know how. Or Why. But if there's anyone that's BORN to love cats, it's this little lady. Every time she sees a picture of a cat, she goes crazy. Meowing for like 5 minutes. And if she happens upon a real cat, just FORGET about it! She's in heaven!
Loves to cuddle. With her animals, blankets, books, whatever! She's a cuddle bug, this one.
Riding in her car. Not in THE car/car-seat. But the little push car. She loves it. She smiles. She's happy.
Throwing her plate on the ground as soon as she's decided she's no longer hungry. No warning, no indication. With lighning quick blistering speed, the plate is on the ground; food strewn EVERYWHERE. ggggrrrrrrr.... it KILLS me!!
Getting cleaned off after meal. The rag. Here it comes. AHHHHHhhhhhh! Oh, if she could run around with avocado & pasta sauce on her mouth all day, she'd be a happy camper.
Diaper changes. Yep, it's a challenge. Not so much because she hates the diaper. But she is just so G-D curious, that she won't sit still for 10 seconds. And this is EVER so evident when she has a diaper full of #3....
wearing pants. Pants? lets just say it. clothes. That's right. Socks. Shoes. shirts. You name it, leave this girl free in the back yard for five minutes, and when you find her again, she'll be two cheeks to the wind, with a mouth full of sand. oh yes. I'm still trying to figure out the evolutionary hole THIS peg fits into!
But i must say. She's learning new skills constantly. Every day, she impresses me with the things she can do. Yes, she's like a year and a half old. But Seriously. What can your DOG do, huh? HUH?!
Maggie can nod. I guess in the great scheme of things, that's not a big deal. But dude, it's COMMUNICATION! I say "Maggie, do you want a cheese stick?" and she shakes her head violently in defiance. So i say, "Maggie, do you want a small tub of sweetened apple sauce?" Her head gives a nod that your local metal head would be proud of.
Potty time. Every time she pees, she grabs her diaper, and says "siu siou," which is polish for pee-pee. Mrs. B say's she's gonna be really easy to potty train. Despite not being a dog, i happen to agree.
Now one thing that most people will INSTANTLY discover is that this cat is persistent!
Scenario: There's a crayon/apple/unknown alien artifact on top of the kitchen counter. Her little brain does the calculations. Result? SHE WANTS IT.
She reaches. No luck. She reaches, while groaning. Still no good. No chairs around. She finds one near the kitchen table, and starts pushing it towards the counter. A parental unit intervenes and takes the chair away. Utter protest. But it's simply a distraction while she sneaks into the bathroom, to grab the stool Alexander stands on to wash his hands. Seconds later, it's quiet.
Too quiet. I bolt into the kitchen, like a track racer just passed the baton on the final leg of the quarter mile. And there on the counter, surrounded by two destroyed art projects, three half-eaten crayons and an overturned glass of milk, is little Maggie May. A mouth full of dark blue crayon, holding her prized, uncapped, permanent black marker, head turned back, smiling, coyly. She is caught, but not defeated.
Our eyes meet. Locked in an unbreakable gaze with her captor. And with a lighting quick stroke of her hand, she moves.
I lunge. But it is too late.
With a deep rooted baby-esque vendetta, she writes a giant "V" on the cabinet door. And giggles....
A final note.
Despite my overly pessimistic tone, i must be honest for a moment.
I am a father.
And having a daughter is probably THE greatest honor a man on this planet can have. She is beautiful. She is loving and inquisitive. And most of all, she is the kryptonitic flaming ember that can melt my calloused and cold heart.
And with every wink, every shoulder shrug, and on the wing of every minute curl of her soft lips, i melt, again and again, into a puddle of unbridled helpless....
I thank GOD every day for this blessing.
Don't believe me? These pictures might give you a glimpse of the power this small Jedi holds over me....