How long have you known you were going to have a baby?
Um...... nine months.
But wait! you can't have a baby! You've got to play in the flip-cup tournament next weekend!
You would think. It's funny how ones priorities seem to drift when one has a mini-me running around.
How would you describe the birth experience?
Traumatic. The baby looked like a small gray slimy elephant coming out of the throat of a chimpanzee.
Ts it true you now only get a couple of hours of sleep a night?
This is false. I actually get 1 hour of sleep a night.
I hear that babies only eat, sleep and poop.
This is also false. You forgot crying. This occurs if they are hungry, no longer hungry, tired, awake or generally any other time of day when you are trying to sleep.
So did Sarah's boobs get bigger?
Yes her boobs went from a 'B' to a huge 'C.' They are in fact so full of milk, that every time i touch them, they squirt me in the eye.
Once you feed him, isn't your job done for a while?
Nope. You forgot burping. Spitting-up is the bane of child-rearing...
Are you really ready to 'rear' a child?
I don't like the tone of your question. Ask me again in a year.
Keep your chin up. It gets better after a few weeks.
If by better you mean that the poops get bigger, and so do the lungs, then thanks for the encouragement.